compunction, of us
by denuit
Summary: Drabbles.oo4.'This is not how you propose to a girl, Sasuke'
1. tacitly

A series of drabbles because I want to write about Sasusaku too badly right now with all the stuff that happened in the manga. And I want to improve my writing so...

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**oo1.**

**_tacitly_**

_-implied by or inferred from actions or statements-_

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_._

_ "I have so much of you in my heart." — John Keats_

_._

The air is all softness and tenderness around them and Sasuke wonders when exactly things turned out the way they are now; Sakura sleeping peacefully next to him, shallow breaths and lithe body unmoving. She scrunches her nose in her sleep and Sasuke smiles despite himself. He takes her wrist and brings her hand to his lips, kissing every bony finger. Sakura stirs in her sleep but she does not wake, a minty breath escaping her now parted lips. Sasuke is used to this, waking up in the middle of the night and watching her sleep. It brings him solace, to know that there is someone there—_here—_that still stands by his side despite all the things he did wrong. He wonders if it just pity or a way to keep him occupied, to know his every move, to be sure that he does not wander the wrong path again or if it just plain, _simple_ _love._

Sasuke traces the outlines of Sakura's face with his fingers and at this Sakura awakes, heavy eyelids opening to reveal those deep pools of green. Sakura looks confused, her eyes meeting Sasuke's in a questioning look before her small hand travels up and cups his cheek.

"I love you." Although it is whispered Sasuke can hear it loud and clear, the words resonating in his ears piercing through his every cell straight to the center of his being. Sasuke just stares in awe and his breaths accelerates because this is _Sakura_ and she is lying next to him, who hurt her so many times in the past—who tried to _kill _her—and she is _here_. Time stops for a brief moment when their eyes lock again and Sasuke can see genuine concern in her look and he wonders why such a sweet, brave girl like Sakura chose him.

"Sasuke-kun?"

"I have so—_so _much of you in my heart," he whispers defeated touching his forehead to hers. " So much of you in my heart that it hurts, it hurts every time when you so much as look at me. I can't—", he's trying desperately to convey his feelings for her but he's failing and his breath is ragged and Sakura looks worried and she nods because what can she do except for that; letting him know, that _yes _ she is listening.

"Sakura—", he says, his voice so small that it's almost swallowed by the darkness."I can't without you, Sakura, I _can't,"_ Sasuke manages trembling under Sakura's touch, "I can't when everything I do revolves around you. When the only thing keeping me sane is you. And I know that I've wronged you and I have no right to be with you but I... I have never felt this before, what you made—_make_ me feel and I am selfish because I only want you. Because every time we are together time stops and we are in a moment suspended. I have so much of you in my heart that—"

Sakura kisses him then, soft lips pressing to his gently while she looks straight into his black orbs; trying to show him that she _understands_, that what he is feeling she is feeling it too, that this –_ they—_are not a mistake, they are meant to be.


	2. placid

I think these quote really suits Sasuke.

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**oo2.**

_**placid**_

_- calm, mild - _

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_"I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends."_  
_― Walt Whitman_

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It's evenings like this, tired and grumpy after missions, that make Sasuke realizes just how much he missed this,_ home._ Team Kakashi is eating at Ichiraku's – ramen— because Naruto has been whining the whole way back home. Sasuke is not particularly fond of ramen, but he tags along when Sakura leaves their home nevertheless because she has greed to go ('But I insist Sakura-chan! Teme!') and he does not want to stay home alone; Naruto is all stupid grins when he sees him. Sasuke feels at ease when they are together like this, when it feels like nothing has changed even though so many years have passed, even though so many things have happened.

'This is delicious, dattebayo!' Naruto mumbles around a mouthful of noddles.

'Don't speak with your mouth full of ramen,' Sakura scolds, pointing her chopsticks at her friend and Naruto nods, the remains of a noodle sticking to his chin.

Naruto pats his tummy when they leave, sighing contently. Sakura is close by Sasuke's side, their fingertips brushing. Naruto is telling some story but Sasuke is not listening, intertwines his fingers with Sakura's instead, a move that startles her. She looks up at him and smiles before focusing back on whatever Naruto is saying.

They purchase dango's from one of the street vendors – Sasuke eats one and gives the rest to Naruto – before Naruto has to run off to meet up with Hinata. How the Hyuuga heiress dates his obnoxiously loud friend is out of Sasuke's range of comprehension.

'Look,' they hear behind them, 'it's the Uchiha.'

He feels Sakura squeezing his hand.

People still give him odd looks, he still hears them whispering behind his back. Sometimes Naruto will shout at them to 'back the hell off' but Sasuke is not one to care about what others think about him. He does not want to be protected—doesn't _need _to be protected (he can summon his Susanoo' for that) but he lets Naruto do it. It's something he tolerates because the guilt of betraying them is still there and letting Naruto protect him from such comments somehow makes up for it.

When he lays in bed, Sakura nestled up against him, her hair tickling his skin, Sasuke is flooded by a serene feeling. He sighs despite himself and Sakura's heads snaps up, forehead bumping against chin. Sakura giggles and hurries to place a soothing kiss on his chin, then along his jawline up to his temple.

Sasuke closes his eyes, strong arms pressing her lithe body against his. He can almost, _almost _ feel her heartbeat.

'Sasuke-kun?' Sakura asks, breath fanning against his temple. 'Is something the matter?'

Sasuke cracks an eye open, quickly closes it again. 'No.' _Not when you're here with me._

Sakura moves back to her initial position, pink hair scattering all over his chest and bedsheets. Her fingers find his and she holds on to them, a reminder for her –_them _– that this – _they—_are real, as she whispers: 'Good night, Sasuke-kun.'


	3. incandescent

this is heavily inspired by kivi1230..tumblr. image/56511430126 (take out one dot)

It is a beautiful picture; I absolutely love the choice of colors and the feel of it.

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**oo3.**

_**incandescent**_

_- intensely__ bright; brilliant. - _

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_._

_'No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one. '– Haruki Murakami  
_

_._

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It's the last day of the Bon festival and as tradition goes they need to send out lanterns to guide the spirits back into their world. Sakura follows silently behind Sasuke, staring at the Uchiha crests (he wears them with such pride and respect that it never ceases to amaze Sakura) on his summer kimono.

She knows that_ this_ –somehow reconnecting with his deceased loved one – means a lot to Sasuke. Being able to share such an important moment with him, being able to be by his side when he's probably at his most vulnerable makes Sakura feel that she is important to him.

His eyes are closed and his hands are clasped in front of him, praying.

Sakura steps closer and touches the silky material that covers his shoulder and Sasuke's head involuntarily tilts towards her. The lantern he put onto the water moves further away from where they are standing, shimmering in the darkness and reflecting on the clear warm. He opens his eyes, dropping his hands to his side and stares up at the sky. A light breeze fans over them and Sasuke smiles; his prayers have been heard.

He takes Sakura's hand and brings it to his lips, gently kissing it, before leading them back to the main road. Further along the river bank they see Naruto and Hinata; Sakura makes to move towards them but Sasuke pulls her back. 'Don't.'

They watch the fireworks and Sasuke buys red bean pancakes for her, before they head home.

It takes a while before they get out of the kimonos, laughing whenever they get tangled in the material.

Brushing teeth together is a habit they have fallen into after they moved in together, but Sakura always stays behind longer to perform her bed time routine. She follows Sasuke outside afterwards; hand finding his, head resting on his shoulder.

'Thank you,' he tells her, calm and sincere and Sakura looks up at him, confused.

' Thank you, for today, for being there.' He tries again, dark eyes flickering over Sakura's face. 'For always being there.'

Sakura smiles at that, genuine and warm and Sasuke brings her closer to him, arm around her shoulders. She can hear his heart, a languid thump in chest, beating, pumping and she kisses the places where it beats at its loudest, a sound muffled by flesh and muscles and bones.

Moments when Sasuke is willing to share his feelings, his thoughts are rare and Sakura has come to appreciate the bits and pieces he gives her; every single one of it is precious to her.

'I'll always be here,' she whispers against his bare chest, lips tickling his skin and Sasuke lets out a shuddering breath.

He couldn't - _wouldn't - _ask for more.

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check out my tumblr! in-parts..tumblr..com! just started it, whoo i'm so excited!

I'll follow back!


	4. certainly

this came out longer than I intended it to be! but I enjoyed writing this so very much!

silent readers you know I can see you guys right?

why won't you - _please - _come out and review?

I would appreciate it very, very much!

AND! the drabbles, as you might have noticed connect to each other.

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**oo4.**

**_certainly  
_**

_-undoubtedly, definitely-_

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_._

_ "I was silent: I thought he mocked me." — Charlotte Bronte  
_

_._

When Sakura is not busy with hospital work or missions she cooks. Sometimes, when she knows that Sasuke will come back from a mission she cooks tomato soup or makes onigiri(at times with okaka). In return he leaves pastries, cookies or any other sweet treat next to her coffee mug. It's not something sophisticated but the smile he gets from Sakura and the lingering of her lips on his when she kisses him good-morning are worth every effort.

One morning though when Sakura walks to the kitchen she doesn't see any sweet treat next to her mug. Instead she sees a little dark blue box with a daffodil next to it. Sakura tilts her head in confusion and takes the flower and the box in her hands, inspecting it carefully. She puts the flower in a little vase and sits down on one of the chairs. The box is small; she lifts it and stares at it, turns it around and then she opens it, carefully.

_Oh. _oh.

Her breath catches in her throat and she can feel her heart beating fast and anxious in her chest. In the little box there lays a ring, a _very _beautiful ring. Sakura takes it into her hand and looks at it intently. A blue stone(diamond?) stands proudly in the middle anchored by tiny golden flowers and leaves; a thin golden band connecting the two ends. After moments of gaping and adimiring Sakura places the ring back, closes the box and sets it on the table. She quickly changes from her pajamas into street clothes, takes the little box and walks out of the house.

Ino is just opening the Yamanaka Flower Shop when Sakura arrives.

"Sakura!" Ino exclaims smiling brightly. "What are you doing here so early?"

Sakura shifts her weight from one foot to another before extending her arm and opening her palm; little dark blue box in her hand. Ino stares at her hand for a few seconds before taking the box from Sakura's hand and opening it. Sakura watches as Ino's mouth slightly opens.

"Whoa,"Ino breaths, taking the ring between her fingers. "It's beautiful. That's definitely a sapphire." She stares at the ring for a while, adding. "So what did you say?"

"What did I say?" Sakura asks, confused.

Ino laughs."Forehead, this is an engagement ring! Baka!"

Sakura's green eyes widen. "Oh," she whispers, looking at the ring. Ino takes her left hand and puts the ring in her palm. "He just left it there, that bastard!" Sakura erupts when realization hits her. Ino laughs some more before shooing a fuming Sakura away.

When Sasuke comes back home, tired and dirty, the house is silent, engulfed in darkness. He silently makes his way into the kitchen, expectantly. Sakura is not on-call at the hospital today, that he knows for sure. The daffodil is placed on the counter and there is no sign of the box. Blood rushes to his head and his pulse is racing.

In their bedroom Sakura is sleeping peacefully; he moves forward, wincing when the floor creaks under his feet. Sasuke kneels down next to the bed and watches her when suddenly her eyes flutter open; vivid green.

"You!" Sakura exclaims, sitting up and pointing a finger at him, voice sleepy. "You better not be mocking me, Uchiha!"

"Sakura, what-"

"This is not how you propose to a girl, Sasuke!" Sakura interrupts, reaching for the bedside table and throwing something at him. He catches it and sure enough it's the box he had left.

Sasuke inhales sharply, gets on the bed next to her, takes her left hand into his own and pushes the ring onto her finger.

"Sa-"

Sasuke silences her with a kiss; Sakura's protests dying between his lips and his tongue.

When they pull apart, Sasuke vanishes into the adjoined bathroom before she can do more shouting. Sakura slumps back under the covers, smiling at the unfamiliar yet pleasant feeling of the ring on her finger. She waits for him to come out, encircle her with his strong arms, her head against his chest before whispering contently and sincerely. "I love you."

Sasuke presses her closer at that, kissing the top her head and Sakura is sure that she can feel his heart beating rapidly under her palm.


End file.
